July 14th started like any other morning on the trail. After yet another rainy night, I set out from Stratton Pond in Vermont to trudge north through the ankle-deep mud. Vermont’s portion of the AT is infamous for intense mud (“Vermud” as it’s called), and the recent heavy rain and flooding had made it even worse than usual. I had a short day planned as I was meeting a friend in the afternoon. She drove out from Boston to meet me on the trail at a road crossing. She took me into town to resupply and we had planned to hike Bromley Mountain together the next day.
Shortly after resupplying and doing laundry, I got the text. My father-in-law, Gerard, had passed away unexpectedly. Though his health had been declining over the last year or so, this was a big shock. He had just turned 60 two days prior.
I knew immediately what I had to do. I had to get off the trail. My wife Andrea would need help and support, not just emotional support as she grieved, but she’d also need help managing the affairs and logistics, a huge job for just one person.
Fortunately I was conveniently set-up to get off the trail. I was already in town, thanks to my friend, and she offered to take me to the airport the next morning. I flew home to Virginia, then Andrea and I had a day at home together to gather our thoughts, pack, and get organized. The next day we traveled across the country to Whidbey Island in the Puget Sound, north of Seattle.
I realized quickly just how inexperienced I was in dealing with death. I spent my flights reading the book What to do When Someone Dies and Googling things like “what happens when there is no will” and “what is probate?”
There is a tremendous amount to do when someone dies, especially when the death is unexpected. The next few weeks kept Andrea and I incredibly busy. After handling the affairs at the mortuary, the first priority was probate court and lawyer consults. There was also a ton to do in order to completely empty out Gerard’s house and get it ready to sell: dump runs; thrift store runs; yard work; cleaning; sorting through bills and paperwork; distributing sentimental items to family members; interviewing realtors; selling a truck, bikes, kayaks, furniture and other high value items.
Today, after a month on Whidbey Island, I am flying back east to resume my hike. Andrea will stay another few days to wrap up the house tasks. All the remaining legal and estate matters can be handled from Virginia.
After the whirlwind of a month I feel very disconnected from my thru-hike. Packing my gear this morning felt strange. The items that I used every day for four months now feel foreign.
About 25% of the trail remains, 539 miles. They also happen to be the hardest miles. When I left to begin the trail in March I was excited but calm and confident. Now returning to the trail I’m nervous. Before I felt very physically and mentally prepared; this time my mind and body have been completely elsewhere. I’m very grateful that I still have the opportunity to finish the thru-hike, but I hope that I’ll be able to get back into the swing of things quickly.
It’s a bummer that it interrupted my hiking momentum, but that’s real life. Despite the potentially rough readjustment I am genuinely happy that I was able to go to Washington to support Andrea. A valuable aspect of a mini-retirement is the flexibility to hop on a plane on short notice for a a whole month out-of-state.
On a map the AT appears to be a linear path – one line straight up the east coast. But real life is hardly ever a linear path. Meaningful journeys bring unexpected twists and turns. Any book or movie would be pretty dull without any plot twists. The best stories aren’t good despite the curveballs, but because of them. Meaning, depth, and growth occur in the hardships.
Gerard’s own story was a complex, non-linear one. He was a brilliant engineer, passionate outdoorsman, and a (secretly) sentimental father. But his best self was also overshadowed by years of alcohol addiction. Sadly the addiction won in the end.
I am dedicating the final 539 miles of my journey to the memory of Gerard Muffly. Like me, he was an avid thru-hiker and outdoor adventurist. He completed the Pacific Crest Trail, El Camino de Santiago trail in Spain, the TransAmerica cycle trail, and countless mountaineering expeditions in the Pacific Northwest.
He was very excited about my thru-hike. He read this blog religiously and was closely following my progress on the AT. I know he would be very disappointed if I did not finish the hike, especially if it was on his account. I will give the last quarter of the AT my all, in a manner he would be proud of.
Rest in peace Gerard Muffly, July 12th, 1963 – July 14th, 2023.
Was wondering why we had not seen any updates from you recently and now we know. My condolences to you and Andrea on the loss of her father. Yes your gear may feel strange after being off trail for a month but just like bike riding it will come back to you soon enough. You are almost done so don’t quit. Hike on my friend.
Dear Kirby,
back again to the AT! Enjoy and keep on hiking the last part of the Apalachian Trail. Ulrike and Ully
Sending all our love to you and Andrea during this time. After reading that he loved the outdoors and an engineer it makes total sense about Andrea. I am happy to see you are going to finish the trail in his name. You got this.
My deepest condolences to you and Andrea on the loss of her Dad. This was such a moving post. Hike on, Kirby. Your FIL would be so proud. Love to you and your family.
❤️
It was fun to see you in Washington and to get connected again! I have really enjoyed reading all your posts up to this point and I am so impressed with your writing and fortitude!